G I L D E D H O R S E F E A T H E R S

gild·ed [gil-did]

adjective

1. covered or highlighted with gold or something of a golden color.

2. having a pleasing or showy appearance that conceals something of little worth.

Czech word: pozlaceny

horse·feath·ers [hawrs-feth-erz] 

noun

1. (used with a singular or plural verb) something not worth considering.

interjection

2. rubbish; nonsense; bunk (used to express contemptuous rejection).

Czech word: nesymsl

My speech professor told me that the worst thing to do is an introduction apologizing, and telling why you are not qualified to be giving a speech.  And although this is a blog and not a presentation, I feel he would give me the same advise.  However, I am going to apologize to him, and anybody reading this.  This whole blogging thing is a little awkward in general.  And I am going to apologize for the grammar errors in advance.  But I can’t think of a better way to document this crazy, fun, beautiful, touching, and strange study abroad experience.  Which brings me to my next point, Gilded Horsefeathers.  This name was given to the blog because of its meaning, more or less golden nonsense, which if you have ever been to Czech couldn’t be a more perfect name for this blog!  Now that we have covered why my blog is named so funky, I will tell you why Czech is a little funky as well.

Today marks one week survival in Czech, and I can’t decided if it feels like 3 weeks or 3 days.  We have seen, and done so much in this one week that I can’t even put in words.    It’s strange to think that a week ago I didn’t know the people that are on this trip either.  Nothing like submerging into a foreign culture to really get to know people.  Lots of odd events so far. I am writing this blog from our “student union” which sells both beer and cigarettes at the front desk.  Not only can you purchase these items here, but its perfectly acceptable to pre-game here before going to the local pubs.  If we are speaking of nonsense two major events in my last week here stick out, Globus and Orientation.  I am getting a headache just typing it!

G L O B U S  &  O R I E N T A T I O N

o·ri·en·ta·tion [awr-ee-uhn-tey-shuhn, -en-, ohr-] Show IPA

noun

1. the act or process of orienting.

2. the state of being oriented.

3. an introduction, as to guide one in adjusting to new surroundings, employment, activity, or the like: New employees receive two days of orientation.

Czech word: orientace

Alright folks, this is where the nonsense kicks in.  Never in my life will I take for granted a lot of little things the that we have in the US, such as Walmart and Loper day.  For starters once we arrived we were really given no information, about anything.  We were here for a couple days before “orientation” place.  In this time we had to learn to fend for ourselves in a country that nobody spoke English and (for lack of better words) is ass-backwards. 

When I think of orientation I think of exactly what the definition above says... a guide to adjusting to new surroundings.  That was not what this was at all.  First off, right off the bat the President of some organization, Misha, that was supposed to be our tour guide left not only 4 students, but our fearless Pharaoh Kami.  When we finally found the group we confronted Misha and her response was, “Oh.  We are laid back here in Czech, just drink a beer and go with it.”  

Next, we found out that we missed two classes on accident, because they for got to tell us that we had them.  Oh, and they also forgot to tell us to bring professional photos for our student ID.  So all 24 of us had to go to this little tiny Walmart quality photographer to waste time getting some nice headshots.  Honestly, its been fine, and it has been a blast.  But just a major lack of communication.  Our orientation classes consisted of visiting caves, listening to Holocaust music, and learning an overview of Czech history.  I envisioned more of the simples things, like how to get on the tramp (didn’t know you had to push a button), what to do with our trash in our rooms, how to do laundry (because there are no dryers in Czech), and basic laws (not that we have had any trouble with that yet, but we really just have no clue what we are doing at all times).  Which leads me to the least logical experience thus far... Globus.

When first hearing about Globus we were honestly STOAKED, we kept referencing it to Disneyland if that makes you understand our excitement.  It is this huge colorful building with a mile long walkway with flags leading to it, so you can imagine our excitement leading up to the infamous GLOBUS!  But, a 3 year old could have organized this place better.  The isles went babyfood, beer, some oatmeal, more beer, clothing, than fruit.  Plus, the workers were not the nicest, and it doesn’t help that none of us speak Czech to ask for help.  And we can’t read what the product even says. One of our professor summerized it perfectly, “In America the customer is always right, in Czech the customer is an asshole.”

The moral of this post is to not take advantage of the little things.  I will forever feel remorse for the Asians roaming Kearney with no clue of what is going on because I have been in their shoes that whole last week.  But it was the best week of my life.  Now that I have gotten my frustration out in this blog, I will make sure my next blog tells all the juicey details about the AMAZING people I have met, and the tear jerking churches in pictures below!  Thanks for reading.